So far this year has been great. I started appreciating the small things a lot more and have been trying my best to find presence in my day-to-day life. I’m listening to less music and going out into the world with my head up, heart open, ears listening, and eyes seeing.

I’m so used to the grand experiences that I’ve had to relearn that there is also beauty in the mundane. Seeing strangers experience joy, walking their dogs, or riding their bikes with their kids brings a smile to my face while I’m on the bus to work.

And although it’s been challenging, it’s helped me appreciate where I’m currently at in life. I’ve realised that not every moment needs to be life-changing and not every person I meet has to be a lifelong connection. Things are allowed to be fleeting.

Learning to have grace with myself has been a struggle, but I’m getting better. I’m being kinder to myself and learning to be alone again. I’m journaling every day and have noticed a big difference in my mental health. I’m also exercising consistently again, which has helped improve my energy throughout the day.

I still struggle with my sleep and often find myself awake at 3 a.m., yearning for connection. I did start leaving my phone outside my room, and I’m hoping the magnesium I bought from the chemist helps.

I’ve also been organising my belongings and figuring out what I want to keep and what needs to go. There’s still a lot to get through, and I plan on selling whatever I don’t want at the markets.

I thought about buying a dog, probably to help with the loneliness, but realised it wasn’t possible with where I’m living at the moment. So instead, I bought two house plants I can care for. I named them Monica and Lily, and they make my room feel more alive.

I’m really trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and meet new people. The other night, I stumbled into an open salsa dance on the way home and decided to venture in alone. I danced with all kinds of partners of all ages, and although I struggled with the rhythm and getting my feet to move along to the beat, I was proud of myself for giving it a go.

So all in all, life has been pretty good, as I said earlier. However, today is different. Unfortunately, it’s one of those days. I woke up this morning feeling like a lower version of myself, questioning why I even bother trying. I found myself slipping into cynicism, unable to escape its grips.

I understand that, like most things, this too shall pass, but while you’re in the middle of it, it sucks. It’s not all bad though—I’m seeing my friends more and have been watching a lot of great films lately. I feel inspired, but on days like today, I want to give up. I won’t though, because that’s just who I am. So, thank you for another day and even though it’s not one of your brightest, I’ll take this time to appreciate whatever this is.