In the past I’ve been inspired to take action by both positive and negative emotions. When I was younger it was easier to pull from that place of darkness, while more recently I’ve felt like I’ve been pulling from the light.

However, I’m beginning to see that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. Both serve their purpose, and it’s in their union where wholeness is found.

My dark side is the one that’s loud, rude, unapologetic, and ambitiously impatient; it’s also the side that stands up for himself and others.

In contrast, while my light is the part of me that’s understanding, patient, kind, and loving, it’s also the side of me that doesn’t speak up because he doesn’t want to hurt someones feelings; or sometimes it’s the side that goes back on what he believes in, so he can put others needs over his own.

To pick either of these sides is to neglect the entire range of emotions we get to experience.

I used to push down my negative feelings out of arrogance, standing proudly on the fact that as I was climbing the ladder of righteousness while reaching the so-called undiscovered heights of my higher self.

It was exhilarating thinking I was ascending, climbing higher and higher, looking down at what I once was. I’m better than that now, I would tell myself, no longer do I need to get angry or upset at anyone, I’ve broken free from that disgusting lower self.

But there was an issue, that lower self was the engine that drove the machine that is me. You can only operate like this for so long until you break down on the side of the road, drop to your knees, and ask what the fuck is wrong with this thing, and why isn’t it working properly?

I’ve had to realise that expansion comes from the core and radiates outwards in all directions. Omnidirectional growth shatters the traditional thoughts of the flat, and often unrepresentative hierarchical growth structures we’re used to.

Incorporating all aspects of the self allows for a magic to happen inside of us when these seemingly opposite forces meet. They rub against each other, and create so much friction that they cause a combustion that explodes from the inside of your being. You can feel it all now, and it’s this unexpected union that opens your eyes to your wholeness not your division.

It’s never been you against you.